Arnold Berman was born Aug. 15, 1925 to Jack Berman and Rose Brodsky Berman. His Hebrew name (on his ketubah) was Aharon Shmuel ben Haim Yaakov. He grew up in Philadelphia, where his father ran a series of grocery stores first at 29th and Dauphin, then at 2803 Girard and finally at 60th and Wharton where the family lived above the store. He was a redhead as a child, a trait inherited from his grandfather Phillip (Pinchas Yosef) Berman. As teenagers, Arn and his older brother Mort operated their own mail-order stamp collecting company, OK Stamps, and sold commemoratives, plate blocks and first day covers -- and even managed a small profit [according to Ellis, Mort and his friend, Cal Cohen created and ran OK Stamps.] He went to West Philadelphia High School and graduated in 1943. As a teenager, he started to smoke and would go through at least two packs of Camel cigarettes (unfiltered) a day for many years. Deemed unfit for army service due to his yellow fever as a child [or flat feet,] he worked for his uncle Harry Stein and then, with a loan from Harry opened his own dry goods store on South Street. For the holiday season, Joan would come down to help at the store. He closed this store and started working for Charming Shoppes, a small women's clothing chain owned by the Wachs and Sidewater brothers as assistant manager of their Woodbury, NJ store.
Arnold first went out with Joan Dickler on a double-date with Al Shrager and Bobbi ??? and they married Jan. 2, 1949. They honeymooned at Grossingers in the Catskills. After living for a year and a half with Morey and Rose Dickler, they moved to Greeby Street in Oxford Circle where they rented the upstairs apartment above the Rosenthals. Ellis was born in 1951, Jay in 1953 and Ron was born in 1957. When Joan went to Jefferson Hospital to give birth, Eliza Pierce came over for a few days to take care of the older boys. Soon after Ron's birth they moved to their own home at 7627 Malvern Av in Overbrook Park. Arnold was still travelling daily to Woodbury, but then became the manager of the Charming Shoppes store in Pottstown, almost a 1 1/4 hour drive each way on the roads of the day. He worked long hours in addition to the long commute, and Sat. evenings and Sunday were his home time (though much of that was often taken by tallying the weekly receipts from the store.) Each work day, he ate breakfast and often lunch at Jimmy's Diner across the street. As the boys got older, one at a time would get a chance to "work" with Arn in Pottstown, usually making up boxes in the basement, but always getting a good lunch at Jimmy's followed by his famous rice pudding with raisins in it. Even nieces and nephews were sometimes given this special honor. During holiday season, his aunt Bella Brodsky Stein would come to help at the store as his "ace" saleswoman.
When he could, he would watch Bonanza, Combat, Dragnet or some other TV show, lie on the floor and have his boys walk on his back, or, when they were older and heavier, give him a back rub ending with an attempt to "crack" his back (push the vertebrae up until they made a cracking sound like cracking your fingers. He would demonstrate this to us by picking us up, lockings his hands in the middle of our spines and giving us a good bounce down -- til we heard the crack!) It was common for him to fall asleep in front of the TV, but if anyone dared to change the channel or turn it off, he would quickly lift his head and say: "I was watching that!!" Sundays in season would be devoted to watching football on TV. He taught the boys to play Michigan Rummy, Hearts and eventually Pinochle and while they became fairly adept, it was very hard to beat him at any of these.
Early in their married life, Joan and Arn's Sunday trips and vacations were limited to Atlantic City, Hidden Lake or a nearby park, but usually they were spent with visiting various Brodsky, Dickler, Meyers and very occasionally Berman relatives. Summer also meant a few days at a rooming house in AC and/or Seaside Heights, once Uncle Herb married Aunt Lea, whose family owned and ran Barnies, a large diner one block from the boardwalk. They also had regular meetings with their "Young Marrieds" group (Kaplan, Shrager, Hoffman, Rosenberg and others) which meant entertaining the group in their home about once a year. Several nearby Overbrook Park families became close friends with the boys calling the Lubins Uncle Paul and Aunt Shirley, the Shapiros Uncle Mort and Aunt Aida, Mrs. Freedman Aunt Estelle [though Harold Freedman was never Uncle Harold] and the Shragers Aunt Faith and Uncle Joey. Arnold became involved with the Men's Club at Overbrook Park Congregation (which later changed its name to Beth Tefillah) and once a month would give up sleeping in on Sunday morning to go to the synagogue and prepare the Men's Club breakfast, beautifully arranging veggie platters and expertly slicing bagels for a crowd of about 70. The boys were often enlisted as his sous-chefs and learned much of artistic food presentation from him.
For the boys' birthdays the tradition evolved of taking the whole family to a movie and then out to dinner. Often the movie would be at the nearby City Line Center theater or in Montgomery county and would be followed by smorgasbord at the Collegeville Inn or the Chuckwagon. Sometimes, the film would be a recent release at a downtown theater and then dinner would usually be at Pub Tiki. Arn especially liked action films and these were the majority of the movies seen for birthday outings. Even when Joan and Arn went for a rare evening out to the movies, it was mostly for action films. Joan would go with her girlfriends to a matinee to see tearjerkers. Very occasionally, the family would go to a play at Playhouse in the Park or Valley Forge Music Fair.
When Mort and Ceil moved to Latches Lane, it became the family country club on summer Sundays, where there was swimming, tennis, shuffleboard and badminton. Highlights of these visits were when Arnold would do his whale belly flop into the pool, squirt all of us through the gap between upper front teeth, then dry off to become king of the grill. He also managed the grill for special occassions like Memorial Day and July 4th. 1st seder night was spent at the Steins (until Uncle Harry Stein died) then at his mother's apt. (Jack had died in June, 1961 and Rose moved to Lebanon Arms, where two of her sisters lived) and 2nd seder night was at Joan's parents' house on Columbia Av. Later, both seders became catered affairs. The first night after Passover, the Dicklers met at Morey and Rose's home on Columbia Av (which eventually moved to Joan and Arn's home.) Arn's responsibility was getting fresh bread from the Orlando's `Italian bakery. On Rosh HaShana the Brodsky family gathered at Lebanon Arms for dinner at 3 PM after had everyone had finished at synagogue. Arn and Joan began hosting this meal after Rose moved to Imperial Apartments. To break fast after Yom Kippur, the family gathered at Herb and Lea Dickler's. US holidays had their own traditions. Memorial Day was for several years celebrated with the Young Married group at Hidden Lake in NJ but then moved to Wynnewood Valley Park on Remington Rd. July 4th was celebrated with the Dicklers, also at Wynnewood Valley Park, although later at Anita and Fred's and ultimately becoming a much larger gathering of the gantze Dickler/Meyers mishpuche at Marv and Mickey's on Moon Dr. Thanksgiving was usually at their home with both their children and parents. Arn had a connection in Pottstown [at the farmer's market??] that got him special double-breasted tom turkey for the occasion. Christmas meant Joan and Arn going next door to the Brigandis on Christman Eve to "help decorate the tree" (an excuse for serious social drinking), paying a short visit to the Brigandis and Cotters on Christmas morning and then driving out to Bucks County to spend the day with Bill and Dot (who worked for Dad in Pottstown) Worrell. Special Sundays in the winter could include a trip to Camac Bathhouse with the Dickler men or, if it had snowed, taking the boys (and Ginger, the dog) to Suicide Hill for sledding. On unusual week nights where he got home early enough and had the energy to go out, his favorite spot was Tecco's at 60th and Arch which had, he claimed, the best clams Casino and crabs in the area.
In 1966, after owning several used cars, Arnold bought his first NEW car, a Rambler Station Wagon. It was in that car that they made their first trips to Long Beach Island, originally renting an apartment for a week near the Shragers, Packmans, Novacks, Channicks and Dubins . Later, several of these couples would rent a house together. His favorite stop on the way down was Olga's Diner and, no matter what he ordered for lunch, a cheese cake was taken down to the shore. In the Atlantic Ocean, whether at LBI, Seaside Heights or AC, Arn was the king of body surfers, patiently waiting for the right wave and generally riding it in until he literally beached himself in a few inches of water. On New Year's Eve 1969 Joan and Arn were given a surprise 20th anniversary party at Anita and Fred's house on Farwood Rd (the first New Years that the boys didn't spend at Nana and Poppop's on Columbia Av!) and one of their gifts was a trip to FL -- their first airplane trip! They both loved it and it certainly whetted their apetite for more travel. 1969 also saw Charming Shoppes open a store on 69th Street, which Arnold was made manager of, giving him a 10 minute commute and 2 more hours of free time a day! This led to much increased home barecuing in the summer.
In 1972 Charming Shoppes went public (with the stores re-branded as Fashion Bug) and the 0.5% share of a little local women's clothing chain he owned ballooned to be valued at more money than Arnold and Joan had seen together in their married life. It actually took them several years to realize that their financial situation had drastically changed and they made very few changes in their frugal life style. They continued to live in Overbrook Park, and it was several years before Joan would get her first new car, but they did start to vacation more and Italy, Florida and (once Jay and Genia married and moved) Israel became regular destinations. They also extended the stays at LBI to a month (though Arnold would only be there for weekends and one week.) They now rented with Joan's siblings (with all the men on the same schedule as Arnold) and began their famous bouliabaisse Sundays. With Anita and Fred, Herb and Lea and Mort and Ceil owning second homes in FL and many other family and friends becoming snowbirds, Joan and Arn began visiting yearly. Joan would spend 6 winter weeks, mostly with Anita and Arn would come down for an extended weekend and a very occasional weekend. Besides their relatives, their friends there included the Channicks, Novacks, and another Joan and Arn (Goldstein.) Another addition to their cultural outings was getting a subscription of plays at the Walnut Street Theater. After years of needling from the boys, Joan started to cut down her cigarette intake and slowly weaned herself from them (though all this occured after they had all moved out.) When she declared herself finished with the withdrawal process, Arn decided it was time for him to quit too. He finished the pack he had and went cold turkey.
In the early 1980s they bought a condo at the Warwick in Atlantic City (and Joan immediately told Arn AFTER the deed was signed, "You realize that this does NOT change the arrangements for LBI!") Here, his favorite dining options were Touch of Italy on Black Horse Pike and Smitty's in Somer's Point (in the back of which was the Breakfast Bar where he would get creamed chipped beef on toast and, as he walked in, he would tell them to "burn the home fries" to a crisp.) But, to be fair, there were few restaurants that they didn't at least try out to see what they had. A few years later they bought a condo at at Vassar Sq.in Ventnor City and Joan brought Faith Shrager in to decorate for them. It became their pride and joy and they spent more and more time "down the shore." They rented out the Warwick apt. and only sold it in 1998 or 1999.
Jay married Genia in 1976 at Mort and Ceil's house on a stormy night in June, 1976 and Ellis married Jody in in Aug. 1980. The grandchildren soon started to appear: Rahel (1978) and Bruria (1980) were born in Israel. Arn's mother Rose passed away in 1981. Then Brad and Justin were born followed by Vered. With 5 grandchildren, Joan and Arn decided to throw their Philly Phun Party at the Mummers Museum when Jay's family was visiting in the summer of 1985, nicknamed the Fives Party as it marked Joan and Arn's 35th anniversary, Jay and Genia's 10th and Ellis and Jody's 5th as well as Arn's 60th birthday and Joan's 55th. As an added bonus, Ron and Sharon announced their engagement officially at the party. A fantastic time was had by all!! They also decided to change their LBI routine that year and rented a beach front house for their entire family for a week. By this time Arn was working at Charming Shoppes corporate headquarters in Bensalem (meaning he was back to over an hour commute.) Two more grandchildren were added soon after (Randy and Adi) and then later, Yosi, Kate and Marj. By this time both Joan and Arn were driving new cars and each decided to get a custom PA license plate: AC ARN for Arn and JDB10 for Joan (letting her children know that she thought 10 grandchildren was enough!)
Arn started taking more time off and longer weekends and finally retired in 1997 and, despite many long years as a workaholic, slid very comfortably into retirement. When at the apt. in AC, he had a new "office" to go to: The Golden Nugget Casino (which became the Hilton some years later.) He would sit for hours at the craps table, sometimes with his brother Mort but often alone (Joan also gambled occasionally, but preferred the Tropicana). They also traveled more frequently, often joining Tauk Tours with the Shragers and Jerry and Marion Brodsky. In the summer of 1990 they took all of their children on a cruise from Miami to Cancun. This started with a night at an Art Deco hotel in Miami Beach and included a day trip to the Maya site of Tulum. In 1992-3, Jay had sabbatical from Hebrew U and the whole Israeli family moved to Overbrook Park for 14 months giving many opportunities for full family gatherings and extended time for Joan and Arn to spend with their grandchildren. They celebrated their 50th anniversary together (with lunch with their children at Le Bec Fin, a trip to NYC to see Chicago and a party given by Anita and Fred at the Ram's Head Inn).
Arn had been having problems walking for some time and had his hip replaced in the late 1980s. He was told he should also have his knees done, but would need to lose considerable weight first. The stairs on Malvern Av were becoming very difficult for him to manage. Joan thought she had finally convinced Arn to sell the Malvern Av. house and move to a nearby condo on City Line Av. (The Greenhill, if a unit was available) still with weekends in AC and winters in FL, when she was diagnosed in 1999 with lung cancer. They still had a small gathering for their 51st anniversary and even brought in the same Frank Sinatra impersonator/singer who had entertained at their 50th. Joan passed away in Feb. 2000, but not before telling her sons "Dad is going to need someone when I'm gone and I don't want you to stand in the way."
The first year was very rough on Arn, and it was only over his protests that Genia and Jay dragged him out for dinner for his 75th birthday, which he really didn't feel like celebrating. He did travel to Israel with his brother Mort for Yosi's bar mitzvah. After this trip, Mort had knee surgery and for the first few months was still in considerable pain and told Arn "never have this surgery done" [PS: a few months later, Mort felt great and was very thankful for having the surgery, but his comment put Arn off the idea for years.] He later started dating and eventually he and Elaine Lutz became a couple. It didn't take long after that for them to get into travelling together and going down to FL for the winters. That always started after Thanksgiving (which had moved to Jody and Ellis' house in Havertown along with the Rosh HaShana dinner) and they usually returned shortly before Passover. A party was held for his 80th birthday at Aldar's on Montgomery Pike and all of his children and grandchildren gathered for his 85th in AC. For his 90th birthday, his children and grandchildren all spent the week in AC in a large house together and had an affair in his honor in the party room of Vassar Sq.
During these years with Elaine, he got himself down to the recommended weight for the long-postponed knee surgery (2012) and was able to keep himself there without giving up on his love for fine dining. He basically stopped eating lunch and kept the size of his breakfasts and dinners within reason. Elaine kept close watch on his diet, making rare exceptions for old favorites (loaded with salt) like knockwurst, herring or whitefish salad. At age 86 Arn lost feeling in his feet and finally gave up driving. Elaine did much of their driving for a while, but he also found a driver who would chauffer them in Arn's car. He also moved from relying on a cane to using a walker. Despite these physical limitations, he continued to enjoy life as he always had and now began to collect great-grandchildren, who would visit him and Elaine in AC. He even continued walking on the boardwalk, though his walks stayed closer to the Vassar. He and Elaine would play bridge on Tuesday mornings at Ventnor City Library. While he ostensibly got a computer to follow the stock market and keep in contact with his family, he soon became addicted to playing Hearts on it. In 2012, he finally sold the house in Overbrook Park which he had continued to visit occasionally, even dragging himself up the stairs to use the bathroom.
In his 90s and needing a walker, Arn still went to the pool daily, if he could, to "walk the pool." At the Vasser, this meant getting up, having his coffee and toasted bagel and then going to the balcony to check the air temperature and see if the pool attendant had arrived. As soon as he had, and if the day was warm enough, Arn was on his way down (before the official 9:00 AM opening hour) and first in the pool. Though he had always complained about Mort's pool on Latches Lane being "pishaltz" (warm as urine), he now preferred that the water be comfortably warm and also became less tolerant of cool air outside the pool. He and Elaine complemented each other in the kitchen: she did most of the cooking, he lifted pots for her, cleared the table and emptied the dishwasher. He came to need daily assistance in the morning, getting showered and dressed and also getting once or twice weekly physiotherapy. He actually seemed to be doing better with his walker in his 90s than he had in his mid-80s. He got himself up to dance at all the weddings of his grandchildren that he attended, and while he could not match Oscar Wallace in his prime (or even in his later years!) he clearly enjoyed himself greatly.
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